A vulnerable look at my own sexuality; the Little Death explores themes of sexual freedom in a world where everyone has an opinion on what sex should look like and be. I offer my own personal experience up to the viewer to showcase one way in which self-love and sexual freedom can be reached.
Coming to the Alcove Gallery this May.
In this series I investigate survival and the facades we put up to shield ourselves from the judgement of others. On the flip side of the same coin, I look at what happens when that facade crumbles and we are left vulnerable and exposed.
The cult of the Porn Goddess is an interactive installation to get people thinking about their own relationship with their bodies, sex, and sexuality overall. I would argue that sex is still a very taboo topic and we need to readjust our way of thinking about it. I invite people to come in and engage in various activities while leaving the flow of activities up to each individual. This is an exercise in provoking thought and in generating a welcoming space to reflect on these issues and be empowered by choice.
At the core of my practice is leading by example, and I do that through either durational performance (as in Cult of the Porn Goddess) or photography. These images serve as a jumping-off point or as simply time-lapse documentation for a performance I've done in private.
Play with me (if you’re going to act like children I’m going to treat you like children) is about the childish way adults deal with sex and sexuality. We need more open dialogue and I’m trying to help open those doors for people. By creating children’s toys geared towards adults I take some of the pressure off the topic and allow people to fall into the absurdity of playing with erotic stacking blocks (for instance) while also creating a safe space for conversation.
It is hard for many of us to connect with our sexuality. We take no time for ourselves on top of the fact that sex is still a taboo topic. I combined the idea of mindfulness and grounding in meditation practices with the need for sexual clarity and came up with prayer beads made of pornography. The pages of these magazines are already charged with the sexual energy; all you have to do is channel it for yourself.
This was my childhood bedroom, it pretty much reflects the state of the rest of the house. There was a lot of STUFF in there, and I didn't know it was wrong until I'd bring friends over and they'd be mortified. To be humiliated at age 10 sticks with you, humiliation is deeper than being embarrassed. We have reached a point where we no longer live like this, and maybe that's why I'm able to share this picture now..
Someone is cropped out of this picture, in fact. I'm no longer angry that you're gone, I'm angry you existed in the first place.
It's made me hyperaware that we don't know who we are looking at, or what we are looking at, when we see pictures of strangers abandoned in the thrift stores. From this moment forward, I was a victim. I don't want to be a victim anymore.
The world has been cruel to him, and I'm furious about it. But from total destruction comes rebirth, and this kid's gonna soar.
In this photo he stands roughly where I stood in the photo before, just about 6-8 years later.
Inside Out: personal space for public viewing.
Home Videos about my father.
The Porn Goddess is really a goddess of pleasure, knowing your body, actively practicing self-love, and being able to connect with the “spiritual” through your body. The Porn Goddess wants people to connect with their sexuality and their sensuality. She wants us to get the most enjoyment out of a safe, sane, and consensual environment.
The Porn Goddess doesn’t discriminate and meditating with her is not exclusively for those who enjoy porn, or sex even. Porn is such a small part of the exploration of one’s sexuality: it is simply the only mainstream depiction of sex.
The Porn Goddess lives in all of us. She is representational of our very human desire for sex, tenderness, exploration, and peace within ourselves. This is like no church you’ve ever been to. Don’t worship her, worship yourself. Take her offerings and acknowledge your own body as sacred. We all hold within ourselves the capacity for self-love and sexual clarity, but in an age of being bombarded by filters and photo shop it is harder than ever before.
I, the high priestess of the Porn Goddess, invite you to sit with me in meditation, in prayer, in worship, in being alive, and in living in a body. Hopefully the more we find comfort for ourselves in these topics, the easier open dialogue will become.
I don’t think porn is the best thing to describe what’s at her core, but porn is how she’s manifested in the modern age. Pornography, as stated before, is the only mainstream depiction of sex (and in its most mainstream form is problematic at best), and that is why when I resurrected her I felt that was the most appropriate name. I have also received a great deal of my own sex-education from people working in the realm of independent sex work (alternative porn companies, etc.), so dubbing her “Porn Goddess” also pays homage to those fighting against sexual shame and harmful depictions of sex.
Cult of the Porn Goddess time lapse.
Cult of the Porn Goddess installation walkthrough.
Much of my recent work deals with sexuality and self-love. Thinking about how my broader themes and work could impact someone’s day to day life, I came up with paper beads made of pornographic magazines. These magazines are saturated with sexual energy, weather that energy is positive or negative has to do with many things, but by cutting these magazines down (effectively destroying the potentially offensive imagery) and making them into a new object we maintain the base energy while changing the meaning.
I am one who doesn’t really wear jewelry that doesn’t hold meaning of some sort. Sentimental jewelry aside, I chose pieces that have specific stones that signify a certain trait I want enhanced; for instance, wearing moss agate promotes centering within nature and grounding yourself whereas amethyst is a stone of the third eye and spirituality. These bracelets follow that mindset in that they not only look good, but they hold meaning, and thus, power. Each bracelet is charged with sexual energy that you can tailor to your own needs; weather that is for just yourself or you and your partner/s.
Most of the bracelets have words on them, some more specific than others, in hopes that everyone will find something that speaks to their own sexuality. Sexuality is such a personal and nuanced thing, I want everyone to have the opportunity to express themselves in this way with my bracelets.
Beyond that I hope it promotes taking time to slow down and clear your mind so you can feel connected to yourself as a whole person, not just mentally or bodily. You are a whole person and sex is a way to give yourself some love and release. But you won’t enjoy yourself as much if you aren’t centered within yourself.